Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
