i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
