she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
