I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
