What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
