I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
