I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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