I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
People in love make me want to vomit
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize