And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
