I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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