i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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