it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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