I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
