he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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