She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize