It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
