there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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