please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize