So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
