Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
