She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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