i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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