why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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