I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
