He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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