i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
is that a dick in a sweater?
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