So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize