I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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