I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize