He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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