Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize