I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
