sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
