I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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