my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
