I wish I only lived at night.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
