my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
