Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
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I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?