Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
