take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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