I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
