Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize