he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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