I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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