I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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