I think I died a long time ago.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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