I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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