i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Randomize
