I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They are going to name an STD after you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
