I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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