Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
