Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You dont lie about slip and slides
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
