So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.