is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him