i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
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just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"