UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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