Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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