she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
