i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
