i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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