im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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