i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize