Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
